


Two Birds of a Feather

by Oddfan101



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Angels, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Comfort/Angst, Demons, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Humor, M/M, well this is a hot mess but I tried
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-27
Updated: 2019-06-27
Packaged: 2020-05-28 05:45:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19387714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Oddfan101/pseuds/Oddfan101
Summary: After not-armageddon everything went on as if nothing had ever happened. Heaven and Hell will leave well enough alone for a while. However, Aziraphale and Crowley find themselves in a completely different, and a much more personal, problem.





	Two Birds of a Feather

**Author's Note:**

> This is actually my first ever 'serious' fanfic and I'm not gonna lie it took me a week and a half to write 3500 words but I'm here. I had no idea that this was actually already a thing so... oops. Also, if you're here from the book you probably aren't going to like the fact that I'm talking inspiration from the T.V. version, wing wise. Anyways, here it is.

Aziraphale and Crowley were sitting on the bench overlooking the pond in St. James park with their respective cold sweets. Crowley, showing off how much he doesn't know how to sit properly, and Aziraphale trying not to let the ice cream melt and drip on his suit. After 'Armagediddn't', life had gone on almost as it would have if nothing had ever happened.

"I know they said," Aziraphale takes a pause to lick up the ice cream dripping down his hand. It had been about a week after the whole body switch fiasco but Aziraphale was still worried, "they wouldn't bother us, but I can't help but feel the tiniest bit paranoid."

"Yeah, uh you're about to drip on the other side, angel," Crowley warned giving the angel a look of amusement and trying to cover it with annoyance, however failing miserably. So he just settled with biting his popsicle.

Aziraphale had nearly turned his hand around fast enough, but unfortunately not fast enough, "Shit!" Aziraphale exclaimed with enough venom to make the snake himself choke on his sweet treat. Crowley gave Aziraphale the most flabbergasted look through a coughing fit. He would have made a smartass comment about how bad he was for having such a dirty mouth, but he was way to shocked, and in the middle of choking on his popsicle to even remember how to shut his mouth.

However, after a while of Crowley gaping at the angel with his jaw on the floor and trying to calm his coughing, he sputtered out a quiet, "A-Angel!"

"Yes?" Aziraphale spoke without looking up, fussing with the brown stain on his coat. Crowley nearly started cackling and teasing Aziraphale. Until he finally noticed the distress his friend was in. Crowley had no idea why Aziraphale cared so much, not that he was complaining, for such simple material things like food and clothing, however when he remembered how much his Bentley meant to him he figured it out.

"Come here," Crowley looked at the smuge and snapped his fingers. It's not that he ever needed to do that, it was mainly for dramatic effect, and God knows how much he loves to be dramatic.

"Thank you, Crowley," Aziraphale smiled his beautiful smile and Crowley rolled his eyes, even if you couldn't see them you knew he was by the way he threw his head back, waved his hand dismissively, and gave a distracted, "yeah yeah, keep it to yourself."

After a few minutes of watching the pond and comfortable silence between the two, Crowley spoke up again, "Have you anywhere to be tonight?" He already knew he didn't, he just wanted to make Aziraphale feel like he could easily turn him down if he wanted to.

"As a matter of fact, I do not," Aziraphale looked over to his friend still a bit smiley at what Crowley did for him, however he wouldn't mention it again, because he knew how much it bugged him.

"Good, I was thinking we could have some drinks. Or maybe go dinning at the Ritz again, hm?" Crowley suggested.

Aziraphale gave it a bit of thought and settled with a simple, "Drinks, please." Crowley nodded and went back to looking at the pond, once again moving into a comfortable silence with him.

After half an hour of them chatting like an old married couple Aziraphale stood up and offered his arm for Crowley to take. As he did, Aziraphale led them to the Bentley before he could even let go.

Crowley then drove them to the angel's bookshop while listening to the best of Queen. He recounted the day he had with Aziraphale secretly smiling at the more enjoyable moments. When Aziraphale looked over to the demon he couldn't help but feel the corners of his mouth turn up at the rare sight before him.

"And what are you smirking about?" the angel asked with an audible smile in his voice. Crowley scowled to try and cover it up.

"I have no idea what the hell you're talking about," Crowley sneered feigning viciousness, but when Aziraphale tried to cover a laugh it all fell apart. Crowley's face contorted into something that could only be described as a person trying to cover a smile and a giggle with a deep frown or a snarl, yet failing miserably.

"Crowley!" Aziraphale nearly yelled, grabbing the demon's arm to try and brace himself. Crowley had nearly hit an old couple trying to cross the street, then just about crashed into another car.

"Jesus, angel, you almost gave me a heart attack!" Crowley slouched further down into his seat.

"Good! You need to be more careful, if we get discorperated now... Oh! I don't know what will happen, but I know it won't be good!" Aziraphale let go of Crowley's arm and tucked it under his leg.

Now that Crowley thought of it, they were going to have to be a lot more careful with a lot of things they didn't previously have to care about. However, now at the mention of the big, new change in both of their lives, the mood in the Bentley changed from happiness and slight embarrassment to gloominess and worry.

When Crowley pulled into the spot where he usually did he was more than happy to get out in hopes that they could get on with the drinking quicker. Aziraphale had the same thought as he fumbled with the keys to his shop.

They finally burst in and Crowley made a bee-line for the backroom while Aziraphale moved for the wine. Then when the angel came with the alcohol they both eagerly poured themselves a drink. Their conversation began quite normally with them reminiscing about the happier times they shared. However, after a few drinks things took a turn for the well, normal in their case.

"Aziraphale, I-I'm trying to say someth-"

"Then say iT!"

"Well, you keep.. keep interrupting-"

"Just say it, dammit!"

Crowley gasped, "A-aziraphale, you bad, bad little angel, you can't... you can't keep cursing!" He lowered his head and whispered this part, looking around as if they were really bad spies in a cheesy movie, "Hell can probably sense the sin, and then they would come and get us."

Aziraphale let his head drop and loll around in a sort of playful annnoyance and defeat. Then giggled out a small, " _Fuck_."

Crowley then proceeded to choke on his drink and spit all of it out onto Aziraphale's white rug. Crowley cursed and thought about how pissed sober Aziraphale was going to be at him. He shook his head and tried to remember what he was going to say. His face contorted in many different ways until he gave up and went with, "That's the mother... uhhh the mothership? Motherboard? Uhm, what's the, what's the word, mother...load?"

"Just... just say mother."

"Right, that's the-the mother of all curse words."

Aziraphale just shrugged with his whole body and nearly toppling forward from it. Crowley then slapped his cheeks in order to remember what he was going to say. In his drunken state it was unbelievably important.

"AAAHA!"

Aziraphale nearly jumped out of his own skin, "Oh!" He placed a hand on his chest, "What!?"

"I was saying before, some- something about slugs."

Aziraphale gave Crowley a look, "What... what about slugs!?"

"Hmmm...oh yeah! They have four noses!" Crowley tapped on his own nose to make some sort of point. Aziraphale gave Crowley another, more exasperated look. "What the hell-... what the hell does a tiny slug need four noses for!?"

Aziraphale looks almost completely shattered. He looked as if his whole world had come crashing down around him. He had heard of insane things before, hell, he himself was a bit of a hard pill to swallow for most humans, but this... this was completely mad. Four noses? What was God doing up there?

"And s-snails!" Crowley stood up too quickly and rushed over to Aziraphale's seat. He leaned over a bit too far holding up three fingers, "Snails can-" Crowley tried to balance himself by leaning backward and ended up falling on his ass. Aziraphale stuck out his hand to help him up, utterly intrigued with what his friend was about to tell him. He pulled him off the ground and onto the seat next to him, "Snails can sleep for three years! I mean what the hell, I can do that too, but itsy bitsy little mortal snails? I mean their lives go by so fast, how can they just waste that time!?"

Aziraphale gasped, "No- thats... oh m- _no_..." Crowley nods with a look of exasperated knowingness. Aziraphale wracked his brain for anything he could contribute to this fascinating conversation.

Just as Crowley was about to say something else Aziraphale grabbed onto his arm and got extremely excited and stuttered out, "Oh! Oh Oh Oh Oh! Crowley! Did you know rhinoceroses horns are made of-of hair? I saw.. I saw it on the television at my barber's shop!"

Crowley's jaw dropped, his glasses had fallen off during his trip to the floor, which left his golden eyes free to look at, and they were the size of saucers. He made a disgusted face and slurred, "That's... that's oddly disssturbing when you reallyreally think about it... I think I need to sober up."

Aziraphale nods and wills away the drunk haze with a miracle. Crowley follows suit and they both sit in comfortable silence for a bit. After a few minutes, Aziraphale notices the bright red splattered stain on his rug and nearly flipped his coffee table.

"What on earth is that?" Aziraphale glared over at Crowley.

The demon scratched the back of his neck, that he might as well not even have had, for it wouldn't be holding anything in a few seconds, "I uh... I have no idea, looks like some idiot spat wine all over your nice white rug... what is up with you and stains today?"

The angel miracled away the stain and instead moved the wine to, in his opinion, a much better spot. The demon growled as he felt the alcohol seep into his shirt and hair. Aziraphale leaned back and laughed a deep belly laugh at that. He was so caught up in clutching his sides that he didn't even notice Crowley's smirk or as he turned around to face him.

In one quick motion Crowley snapped his fingers and dove for the angle's sides which made him laugh even harder however what made it worse were the feathers that tickled his neck, feet, and behind his knees until he couldn't breathe, good thing he didn't need to though.

Aziraphale smacked Crowley on the arms lightly, "Crowley!" Aziraphale gasped, "Please, I'll miracle it away!" Then he went into another giggling fit when Crowley dug his boney fingers into his sides more, "Ahaha! Please! I'm sorry! I'll clean it up!" More tickling, and when the demon was thoroughly satisfied, it stopped.

When Aziraphale stopped coughing and panting, he lifted his hand and was stopped, "No, it's alright, I wanted an excuse to have a bath tonight," Crowley said.

"So what was the tickling for!?" Aziraphale gaped at the demon.

"Nothing personal angel... well, a little, but you can't tell me that you weren't deserving," Crowley smirked as he teased his shocked looking friend.

Aziraphale feigned innocence, and stood up placing a hand on his chest, he gasped, "Why, Crowley dear, I have no idea what you're talking about, but I'm hurt!"

Crowley played along, crossing his legs and spread his arms across the seat, "Aziraphale, I do believe that you were the one responsible for the wine that is currently dripping down my shirt."

The angel pursed his lips and sat back down smiling, leaning towards Crowley, "And where did the wine come from?"

"The rug," Crowley answered.

"And who, might I ask, put it there?"

"Why angel!" Crowley placed a hand on his chest this time with mock offense, "I do hope you're not suggesting that little old me did it!"

"That is exactly what I am suggesting."

"We were both pissed, I don't think you can blame it on me."

Aziraphale sighed and playfully rolled his eyes.

"Well, I'm going to head back to my place, need any help before I do?" Crowley stood up and stretched his long body.

"No, it's alright, you go have your bath." Aziraphale stood up beside him and led him to the door.

"Alright, goodnight," Crowley strolled out stopping in the doorframe and leaning on it.

"Goodnight Crowley," Aziraphale smiled his beautiful, warm smile. Then he leaned forwards to hug Crowley. When he was done, the demon saluted and left, listening to the door shut behind him.

After the 'notpocalypse' the two had become a lot more touchy feely, not that Crowley minded, he just hated how it left him feeling.

Crowley had that feeling all the way to his car, then all the way to his apartment. The feeling only left once he was in the comfort of his bathroom. He peeled off his wine stained clothing about to conjure up a nice scorching bath. He could see the steam rise off it, watching it idly while sitting right in front of it.

The demon stretched again this time, however, his black wings sprouted from his back. Crowley liked to have his wings out whenever he took baths, he liked to get every ounce of warmth he could. He stretched them out as far as they would go and flapped once, knocking almost everything over in the process.

Warmth overtook him as he stepped into the hot bath, a blissful smile spread across his face. He lowered the rest of himself down into the tub feeling overwhelmingly pleased with the heat. He tucked his wings behind him letting them soak up the water.

Crowley had no need to get up for the rest of the night the water would never get cold and he didn't have to sleep. So that's what he planned on doing. It gave him plenty of time to think, and it was the utmost comforting to think of bad things while in a good situation. He pushed his head underwater and let his feet hang off the sides of the tub.

Then Crowley thought, he thought of a lot of things, both good and bad. He thought of his growing relationship with Aziraphale, and their friendship with the kids, Anathema, Newton, Madame Tracy, and Sergeant Shadwell. Though he would never admit it, he grew to enjoy those human's company. Crowley had been convinced by Aziraphale to continue to speak with them since they knew about everything, and they had been through the same thing. He thought of how heartbroken he and his angel would be when they eventually died.

Crowley then took on a more serious thought, one about their problem with heaven and hell. Like Aziraphale was saying earlier, he knew that they were probably going to leave them alone for a while, but how long was a while? What were they going to do if they figured out that they tricked them? When was the next armageddon coming? What were they going to do then? Was this all a part of the ineffable plan?

The more Crowley thought and worried about 'what ifs' he sunk deeper and deeper into the tub, not realizing that it was overheating. However, once he did it was on the verge of boiling. Which was definitely not pleasant, he may be immortal, but he still felt pain.

He yelped as he hopped out and shook the burning water off him, he flapped his wings trying to dry them quicker. If there was something that still stood before, it wasn't anymore.

When Crowley was done shaking like a wet dog he grabbed a towel and dried his skin off that way. He padded to his bedroom and flopped down on his bed, careful not to fall on his wings. After that he sat up and looked at his wet sheets, then took his towel to his wings admiring the sleek look the water gave them. He pat his wings gently with the towel and stopped when he finally noticed.

He stood up faster than light knocking over a nightstand and not noticing the crash of his lamp. He pulled his wing back around to his front and examined it, eyes blown wide. He covered his mouth to try and stifle a cry of shock. He stood there for, to his knowledge, could have been days. When he checked his other wing he stopped breathing.

After another long breathless pause he shook himself and scrambled for his towel. He hastily tied it around his waist and clambered over to his desk, his wings knocking and crashing into everything on his way. He was trembling when he dialed for his friend.

"Az..Aziraphale?" Crowley hadn't sounded like himself at all.

Aziraphale sounded as if he was just woken up, but still very worried, "What is the matter, Dear?"

"I need you to- I need you to come over right... right now," Crowley wasn't necessarily about to cry, he was just shocked and rather afraid.

"I'll be right there," Aziraphale spoke as he swung his legs over the bed. He had no idea what had Crowley so rattled, but whatever it was, it couldn't be good. So he snapped his fingers and then he was standing right in front of a shaken, half naked Crowley. The first thing he noticed was his eyes, he didn't get to see them very often, but when he did it was always a treat. This time, however, Aziraphale could see right through them, he could see how scared Crowley was.

"What's the matter?" Aziraphale asked again stepping towards his friend, searching the rest of Crowley's body for any visible injuries.

"L-look at my wings!" Crowley reached for his friend, needing some support.

Aziraphale caught Crowley's arms and pulled him into a hug and whispered, "Crowley, I don't see anyth-," he stopped when his eyes landed on what his friend was on about. He gasped.

Wings are very important for angels and demons, as much as an identity is important for a human. Wings tell others what or who the person is and how they are feeling, depending on how the wings move. Well you've obviously got demons with black wings, and angels with white, but it goes a lot deeper than that. Lets say a person with wings was angry the person could very well have it completely put together in their body, however, their wings would tell it all.

You can imagine how shocked or scared you would be if your eyes, face, or your entire body started to get spots of a very obvious different color. Now, the reason the two of them were so distressed was because Crowley was a demon, and demons' feathers were black. However, some of Crowley's feathers were white. This was not normal. This had never happened. This was something that neither of them, in all 6000 years of existing, had ever encountered.

This was not an illness or disease, because celectial beings do not get sick. This was not a curse or a miracle, because it was not causing good nor evil. This was completely new and quite frankly terrifying for the both of them.

"Crowley dear, you're wings... they've- " Aziraphale startted.

"I know, please don't say it," Crowley stopped him before he could finish his sentence.

Aziraphale held his tongue and tried not to ask every single question that was bugging his mind. He wanted so badly to get some answers, but his friend needed him, so he kept quiet and led the demon to a couch. Crowley had never invited him over to his apartment, so Aziraphale couldn't help but curiously look around. It was all so colorless, everything was just so grey. Aziraphale did not like this at all, and if it were not for the situation at hand, he would have complained about it, or made a smartass comment.

"Have you got any tea, dear?" Aziraphale wanted to make Crowley as comfortable as possible.

"I do, b-but please... please don't leave me," Crowley dropped his wings and they smashed a mug off his coffee table. He leaned forwards and sat his face into the crook of Aziraphale's neck. Aziraphale rubbed his trembling back in soothing circles.

After a while Crowley sat back up and flapped his wings, he moved to look at them as if they were diseased. He turned back to Aziraphale and scowled at his own hands.

"What's wrong with me?" Crowley growled bringing his wings up and over his lap giving them both full veiw of his speckled wings. They were still mostly black, it was the ends that had most of the intruding feathers.

Aziraphale was cut off before he even got a breath in, "Let me see your wings," Crowley spoke so quickly that it took him a second to comprehend it.

"...Alright."

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! This is to be continued, however like I said before I am a slow writer so please be patient.


End file.
